Well...its been awhile since i update my post...(sigh...really dun have the mood to post bout the ACM event on my cosplay blog...maybe will update tat later on...)
So...wat shud i say...hmmnnn.....
oh yea....
its been almost 2 years i've been in this company...
and recently i start to feel tired bout it...
not becuz of the work task or anything...and i would say i've done all my job...although there still some mistake...
still remember last time appraisal,talking with my head dept...and he say i'm lack of..hmmnn...wat its called again?...some kind of burning heart on doing work....ahaha...well...yes i dun have...cuz i become more tired each day facing everything in the workplace...each days gossip...each days politic play...each days mumbling...
so i started running away....i'm move into night shift since beginning of May and its been 2 month...feel more relax in someway but i'll face the morning crowd again real soon.....so let juz hope i'll be okay by then...
another thing tat fills in my mind lately is somekind of relationship...yea...a relationship tat supposed ended last 4 years...and dunno since when we start to contact each other again...
and i somehow got the feeling that she wanna comes back....but then i refused to think that...cuz it impossible after all the things we gone thru...
we get along together bout 4years but ended by found out that she had another relationship without my knowing...after a period of arguing and bad stuff happening around us...we start to lost contact with each others....
but all these years i'm still missing her so much...so much that i can't start a new relationship at all...tried once but end up heart broken again...things juz made me more tired...
and now...my head still swung up and down thinking of her...
although we started to contact each other again and still quarrel sometime...
but in the bottom of my heart...i still feel abit happy...but refuse the feeling as well...
cuz i dunno if she also feel the same...
does she wanna continue this impossible relationship...
we barely meet each other and i simply doesn't wanna have a date with her...for now...
but in the future...i'm really scare...really...really scare....
y couldn't i juz sleep in her arms silently and feel the peace...
and y would us end up fighting over small things each time...
thinking all these stuff juz make me weaker in the heart and tired...
now even fall sick cuz overstressed in my mind...
i juz wanna have a peaceful day and that is all i need....
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