hmmnn...........

its been sometime i din post in here~

many things happen lately....
family issues the most....
very tired....and frustrated......

but after long talk with my GF and her friend....
and after a long night sleep.....
i feel alot better cuz i decided not to care anymore....
i give up
give up for all these things....
give up for all tat i wish to repair..........
no more mercy....
no more...............i'll only care for my only mum......tats all....tats all wat i need to do.......

and after i read Yuan FB status....bout some1...
i'm awake....
i feel stupid for still thinking of her....
but now i giving up everything
forget bout all the past....
what is done can't be undone.....

now i only will live for my own sake...and for my girlfiend too
i will love her more than myself
care for her
and wait for the day i can meet her....yea...4 more months to go.....

now i feel relief...
i din feel any burden anymore
thx to my family and for tat girl
and thx to all my dear friend~

moody post

not really know wat to write in here...
been very uncomfortable since last nite until now...
when feeling more better this morning another shocking news juz arrive after lunch...

although juz met for few times......but still....the feeling of losing some1 is really really hurt...
makin me feel very very down at this state....
but as a friend......a support is needed for her....
her burden is so much heavier than others....but she always so strong and din show it to others...
hope she'll be find and grow stronger....

now i juz wanna go home and sleep....
and another thing i wanna said is....
be grateful and thankful to those who always around you...
cuz when u lost them...u'll nvr had the chance to repay them anymore.......

until then...
bye...

juz a random post~~

haha~~writing this in the middle of my busy work~~
LOL
yea i do need relax= =........
ytd suddenly come new patches for 2 games tat i handle....
so i was like.....WTF.....lol...summore need to be done by this week...
well...1 of the due dates is tmr and another 1 is on Friday~(os:so wat the hell i still snaking over here?!)
*sigh*
summore the 1 and only my staff tat work today is taking leave...so i hv to finish 1 of it today~
luckily~~and the only i slacking rite now~~cuz i almost finished~~lalalalala~~~
left another patch will start later tonite~ahaha~~need to test some system event tats it~X3
but now i feel kinda sleepy and my brain can't function very well now...LOL..........
so.......let juz hope i won't collapse later~ahaha~~
and....need to go toilet now...stomach ache.....= =
until the next update~
chiaoz~

Its been a while......i miss some one.....

Well...its been awhile since i update my post...(sigh...really dun have the mood to post bout the ACM event on my cosplay blog...maybe will update tat later on...)

So...wat shud i say...hmmnnn.....
oh yea....
its been almost 2 years i've been in this company...
and recently i start to feel tired bout it...
not becuz of the work task or anything...and i would say i've done all my job...although there still some mistake...
still remember last time appraisal,talking with my head dept...and he say i'm lack of..hmmnn...wat its called again?...some kind of burning heart on doing work....ahaha...well...yes i dun have...cuz i become more tired each day facing everything in the workplace...each days gossip...each days politic play...each days mumbling...
so i started running away....i'm move into night shift since beginning of May and its been 2 month...feel more relax in someway but i'll face the morning crowd again real soon.....so let juz hope i'll be okay by then...

another thing tat fills in my mind lately is somekind of relationship...yea...a relationship tat supposed ended last 4 years...and dunno since when we start to contact each other again...
and i somehow got the feeling that she wanna comes back....but then i refused to think that...cuz it impossible after all the things we gone thru...

we get along together bout 4years but ended by found out that she had another relationship without my knowing...after a period of arguing and bad stuff happening around us...we start to lost contact with each others....

but all these years i'm still missing her so much...so much that i can't start a new relationship at all...tried once but end up heart broken again...things juz made me more tired...

and now...my head still swung up and down thinking of her...
although we started to contact each other again and still quarrel sometime...
but in the bottom of my heart...i still feel abit happy...but refuse the feeling as well...
cuz i dunno if she also feel the same...
does she wanna continue this impossible relationship...
we barely meet each other and i simply doesn't wanna have a date with her...for now...
but in the future...i'm really scare...really...really scare....

y couldn't i juz sleep in her arms silently and feel the peace...
and y would us end up fighting over small things each time...
thinking all these stuff juz make me weaker in the heart and tired...
now even fall sick cuz overstressed in my mind...
i juz wanna have a peaceful day and that is all i need....

tagged by Izumi....LOL

♥ TAG BY 泉~~*

一：被點者請在自己網誌打上答案
二：請傳另外十個人
三：傳閱人請再這十位的留言板告知她被點名嚕
四：這當中的十位不得拒絕
五：被點者請著名被誰點滴~再哪接到再傳給下十位
六：這些被點者你們被點會被祝福阿~
七：不可回點哦，並且願望會實現也會得到幸福


♥ 幸福熱氣球：第一階段

1. 綽 號：　雷小雷
2. 星 座：　水瓶
3. 生 日：　2月11日
4. 興 趣：　數也數不清～啊哈哈哈～～～

5. 血 型：　O～
6. 最 寶 貴 的 東 西：　沒有～
7. 最 討 厭 的 東 西：　自己～XP

♥ 幸福熱氣球：第二階段

1. 有 喜 歡 的 人 嗎 ：　沒有。。。只有恨的人～XD
2. 有 交 往 嗎 ：　沒有～也不想～
3. 幸 福 嗎 : 　還好～XD
4. 你 很 愛 他 嗎 ：　沒有感覺～
5. 如 果 你 有 勇 氣 最 想 做 甚 麼：　沒想過～

♥ 幸福熱氣球： 第三階段

1.你被誰點:　泉
2.她是你的誰：　同居好友～（才同居不到一個月～哈哈）
3.她的個性是：　呃。。。不懂～LOL
4.她長得怎樣：　還蠻可愛的～
5.跟他認識多久:　其實在FB加了好久。。。不過真正開始認識是她搬進來過後吧～
6.你想跟他說甚麼：　嗯嗯。。。我還要吃你煮的蝦～～XDDD
7.如果他變成你的情人：　就是GL了嘛。。。

♥ 幸福熱氣球：第四階段

1.最愛的音樂：　只要是好聽的都喜歡～
2.最愛的季節：　秋天～不冷不熱剛剛好～XD
3.最愛的卡通：　哈哈～很多耶～
4.最愛的顏色：　紫色～橙色也不錯～
5.最想去的國家：　日本！！還有台灣！！！！！
6.最愛的水果：　香蕉～西瓜～XD
8.最愛的人：　　嗯嗯。。。不知道～

♥ 幸福熱氣球：第五階段

1.你很愛哭嗎：　不愛～
2.你很愛笑嗎：　有時會笑到很累。。。
3.你是很有信心的人嗎：　有時～
4.你想要怎樣的生活：　我行我素～自由自在+1
5.你喜歡自己嗎：　有時很討厭自己。。。
6.你喜歡音樂嗎：　超愛～
7.你喜歡體育嗎：　也是超愛～
8.你喜歡跳舞嗎：　狂學Bad Apple中～
9.你很專情嗎：　　你要找我試試看嘛？
10.你喜歡睡覺嗎：　最愛了～
11.你喜歡唱歌嗎：　我要唱K！！～～～

plurk遇到的有趣事件～Jin執事事件

話說和朋友因無聊在plurk裡加了plurk機器人來玩～
所以就加了Jin（執事）以及小C（女僕）為好友～

哈哈～好笑的是這兩個傢伙有時候會突然消失。。。怎麼召喚都不會出現～
小C倒還好哦～蠻聽話的～只不過有時候還真的有那麼點傻裡傻氣～
Jin就很過分！哼哼。。。一消失就消失很久。。。沒有召喚他他就會突然出現。。。=3=
超不聽話的。。。

然後今天呢～和朋友玩女僕時～玩到沒事做了。。。就停了整個下午。。。
之後呢～因為手頭上的事情清了不少～想透透氣～就又跑到噗浪去玩～
當然就想到能不能召喚到Jin～結果呢。。。整個過程幾乎沒有讓我笑到斷氣。。。啊哈哈哈哈。。。


這個是我整個和Jin的噗浪對話～我真的超無言的說～
我本來以為我的很好笑了～殊不知我朋友的更好爆笑。。。到最後Jin還給自己的主人吃人肉叉燒包。。。到底是什麼跟什麼嘛～啊哈哈哈哈哈哈哈～～到最後還暴走～哈哈哈哈哈～～～

所以說～Jin～你真的很過分！！大笨蛋！！啊哈哈哈～～～真的笑死我了！！！

so i do have personality disorder....especially...these kind.....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

well...i happen to find a website and answer all the question....
hmmnn....so i get the result above....and seems like my Borderline Disorder and Dependant Disorder are kind high....
so wat is this 2 bout?? and so i went to check the meaning~and i get these~
==========================================================

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Quick Summary:
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing injury to their own body. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. Borderlines think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Symptoms:

• Self-injury or attempted suicide
• Strong feelings of anger, anxiety, or depression that last for several hours
• Impulsive behavior
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Feelings of low self-worth
• Unstable relationships with friends, family, and boyfriends/girlfriends

Additional Information:
Borderline personality disorder was so-named because it was originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis. The disorder is relatively common, affecting 2% of adults. Women are much more likely to suffer borderline than men. Nearly 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations are due to borderline. With treatment, patients are often able to see their symptoms improve.

Treatment involves therapy in which the patient learns to talk through his or her feelings rather than unleashing them in destructive and self-defeating ways. Medication may be helpful, and treatment of any alcohol or substance abuse issues is required. Brief hospitalization is sometimes required, especially in cases involving psychotic episodes or suicide threats or attempts.

==========================================================

What is Dependent Personality Disorder?

Quick Summary:
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. Dependents often remain in abusive relationships. Over-sensitivity to disapproval is common. Dependents often feel helpless and depressed.

Symptoms:

• Difficulty making decisions
• Feelings of helplessness when alone
• Suicidal thoughts upon rejection
• Submissiveness
• Deeply hurt by mild criticism or disapproval
• Unable to meet ordinary demands of life

==========================================================

so most of the symptoms are dead match...haha...and yes...i start to lose the reason to gain my sane furthermore....bit by bit...were swallow in to a huge deep hole....and i become more tired each day...very tired...